Nuits silencieuses

He awoke with an unsettling tension in his body. He gently brushed his hand on the other side of the bed and it felt bare, I wasn’t around, with a cross expression he rose from the bed as he expected me to be beside him wrapping myself around his wonderfully warm body. He frantically looked at the clock, it displayed 3.15 AM.

He adorned a robe around himself, slithered out of the bed with a swift yet a gentle movement. He seemed like sleep had numbed his senses yet he walked with a surreal vivid grace. He somehow knew where I would be hiding that late at night. He opened the balcony slider I was right there as usual too caught up in my thoughts and I couldn’t quite see him come towards me and being a windy night in London it was hauntingly cold. He quickly grabbed a little quilt and placed it on a chair near us. He put his arms around me, his wonderfully warm body was rubbing against my back which was now cold, such actions have now brought me to a new understanding, and the love that these actions reflect will keep us together, intertwined forever. His arms were my definition of home and that’s where I belonged. I wondered how even his slightest touch would brush all my thoughts away and make me want him, all of him. The periodicity of these actions was quite regular but they had the urge as if they were happening for the first time. I could stay there wrapped by him forever. He slowly sat behind me on the rug then quickly grabbed the quilt and wrapped it around us.

I could feel his heartbeat running through me. He somehow would pacify my scorching soul with the tales of our glory, and now I fail miserably in expressing my plight on the paper of tales flooding with scars, blood and agony and my irrational fears that I usually write away holding on to the joys of life. I’ve always had this tendency to hold on to the joys close to my heart not expressing them on paper cause expressing them on paper feels like giving it away.

I could feel his breathing, listening to every little alteration in the pattern of his breath. It softened when he put his head in the crook of my neck. The rhythm, the intimacy, and the warm air were making my ear tickle, even his breath is perfect in ways that can’t be described, cause my anticipation is it’s peak when I’m not around you. He slowly leant towards me and ran his hand from my shoulder until the end of my fingers. I could feel my body responding to his touch passionately. I could sparks fly around us when I saw you smile through the kiss. I know we are alike cause we were crafted in the same breath. The aura around us was all charged up with all the love and affection in our hearts. My heart beating in my chest was beating for me but he had already cast a spell on it and it was made of him, all of him now. He whispered something in my ear in a whimsical tone which sounded like a lullaby to me and I know that I was irrevocably in love with him. He had bewitched me body and soul, “You like being this little kid, don’t you? Do you love sitting around here wrapped up by me? don’t you?” he said, his voice calm and soothing.”

“Yeah,” I said nodding my head which was rubbing against his chest and looked at him.

“You need some sleep, it’s past 3.00 in the morning. Although this is exquisite, we could do it the entire day right? Is something bothering you? Is something wrong? Have I done anything to upset you?” his voice sounded low and the cool expression on his face was slowly fading away and by now he had been occupied by a more serious expression.

I slowly turned towards him, placed my hands on his face, his face looked magical, I could feel as if heaven had just smiled upon me. His child like the face was streaming with innocence. he couldn’t hide a single thing, his expressive eyes were waiting and gazing at me exasperatingly with concern and eloquence. How could he pull so many things with just one expression?

His strong jawline was being highlighted by the moonlight, he looked like a Greek God and this man was cradling me in his arms. I slowly leant toward him, he closed his eyes, being so close to each other made my brain and my senses freeze, all I knew is that I wanted him, all of him. Our faces were very close to each other and the air around us was all charged up. We were breathing the same air, we were breathing in unison. I could feel his warm breath teasing my mouth. I could feel the rush, our breathing was getting heavier and deeper and I knew he longed for me and he wanted me, in a brief moment our lips met. We kissed for a moment, he slowly but gracefully withdrew without being too harsh. It was tender, with our lips gently brushing, making me want you.

I leant away, looked at those eyes burning with passion and his heart yearning. I said,

“This is everything I want, so it would be very sweet of you if you would let a smile out cause it’s priceless and means a lot to me. There’s something about the night that perhaps I myself am yet to decipher, all I know is that it is just so different and appealing.”

I said staring out of the balcony into the dark that seemed to accept me gladly, I could feel the breeze gently blowing and soothing me.

“ Hey come on tell me about your little secret.” he said beaming a wide smile.

“The night is a total mystery to me, every night has so many facets and every facet has innumerable pages with thousand of stories untold. At night the presence of every small thing becomes dominant, even the clock comes to life. With every tick, I can feel myself going away from this world and driving into another world altogether, this feeling of getting lost is fascinating. I can see everyone going to sleep. The lights in the apartments going out. Mothers kissing their children goodnight. Couples about to sleep find some time together, to talk, to express themselves. At this time the entire world is being cradled by the moonlight and the night sings berceuse to put them to sleep”.

I slowly snuggled out of his arms, he loosened the grip and I walked towards the glass offset of the balcony. I ran my finger on the steel securer, it squeaked and made a very soft sound, that sound was very gentle and very relaxing.

“This is the time when I don’t have to talk to someone else, all I need to do is just think and this night just gets brighter and happier. This is the time when you can see the streetlights providing light to guide the thoughts of the people who must’ve lost their minds. There might be no one on the street but they still burn to provide light to someone who really needs some direction. There hardly are any cars around.Even if you sit on the sidewalk and speak all you hear is your own voice and the low rustling sound of the leaves as if they are actually listening to you and acknowledging your talk. When you are silent and close your eyes, all you can hear is your heart beating, relaxing as every bit of it can be. At night you don’t have to conceal anything, unlike the light and bright it doesn’t demand your face and looks all it demands is your presence and your slightest touch. You can see the dogs running freely, howling, barking, wagging their tails freely expressing their own selves with their mates freely. Who said at night the world stops? just the channel of command denominates. Especially in monsoon when the raindrops kiss the soil the sweet aroma that rises is heart-stopping, I could inhale all of it. I love sitting here and reminiscing as those little droplets osculate my face, reminding me of the beautiful joys in life. It gives me the freedom to want, to become a better person. Just sit here quaff coffee and watch the entire world sleep, descry the sun warming the entire world for another action-packed day. Nights could be so wonderful and otherworldly who ever must’ve thought”.

I spoke on and on and I could feel tears streaming my face.

I looked at him, he had a strange glaze in his eyes. His eyes had lit up, it was something about the way I spoke, I knew it he wanted to hear it. He caressed the tears away kissed my cheek I could feel his stubble grazing my cheek I let a little smile out, and I knew my answer had been quite convincing.


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